WHEN A SKETCH IS NOT JUST A SKETCH

Sometimes unexpectedly CORY OLIVER goes into trances wherein he is assaulted by alien sounds, visuals, and occasionally the world around him alters entirely. Cory simply refers to these attacks as “hallucinations”.

At the age of 14 Cory was diagnosed with a mild form of Schizophrenia. Over the years he has learned to cope with the disorder through weekly group therapy meetings and with the help of people like his friend Justin, who likewise battles with the same condition .

When Cory explained his situation to me I asked him to sketch anything and everything that came to him during one of his spells. Time and time again these documentations of his schizophrenia were simultaneously beautiful, disturbing, and above all brilliant. Each page of sketches are like a puzzle of his subconscious mind spilling out for all to admire.

In each of our interviews Cory and I will talk about the origins and the possible meanings behind these hallucination inspired sketches.

CORY OLIVER HALLUCINATION JOURNAL: INTERVIEW #1

“FORGET HER, FORGET HER”

ADAM: So, you were having this hallucination while we were talking online the other day?

CORY: Yeah, I remember sitting here talking to you and I started feeling light-headed, and then I was sort of overtaken by these quick sounds and images.

ADAM: What sounds did you hear?

CORY: I heard this sort of bassy, rumbling noise and something that sounded like an irregular heartbeat, and when I saw all of those eyes I heard this strange whispering and speaking, like a ton of people speaking all different languages.

ADAM: You wrote the words "THE MEEK" near those eyes. What does that phrase mean to you?

CORY: I think I was trying to convey that the eyes were the eyes of 'the meek', or like the common people. I remembered the phrase 'and the meek shall inherit the earth' around then, and I thought the meek fit.

ADAM: Just to the left of the eyes there is a seemingly unrelated scribble. What does that represent?

CORY: Ah, I think there I was trying to draw the scenery, albeit poorly. I commonly see these destroyed or ruined buildings accompanied by dead trees, and I should have spent more time fleshing that out. I think I did in a couple of my later drawings, and one of my earlier ones actually. My hands were shaky and I had a brush-tip pen, I could only make so much, you know? hahaha.

ADAM: Would you describe the imagery as apocalyptic? The man in the gas mask with the cryptic phrase "Here I am God Here Where is" certainly seems to suggest something apocalyptic to me.

CORY: Yeah, I think that's what I was trying to convey. I used to have dreams and nightmares about everything being completely destroyed like that.

ADAM: The centerpiece of the sketch has the phrase "Forget Her". It looks like you were about to either continue a thought or repeat the phrase just below it but instead you scribbled that part out.

CORY: Partway through the hallucination I was thinking about Jill, the girl that killed herself, and I've never been able to get that image out of my head, and I told myself 'forget her, forget her, forget her' and I think I scribbled it out as I was coming out of my trance.

ADAM: When your in these trances do you feel trapped? It sounds like these intrusive thoughts almost attack you.

CORY: Yeah, sometimes more than others, sometimes less. In the longer ones I feel like I'm being attacked at times, or like I can't get away from it.

ADAM: Do you think about Jill often? For some reason it seems like during the trance your mind was subliminally forcing you to confront your thoughts about her.

CORY: Yeah, I do think about her often, and most of the time when I do, I try to think about something else for fear of breaking down or freaking out in remembering the event, you know?

ADAM: What is that monster type figure in the right center?

CORY: I think that was my interpretation of this ghost thing I saw, it's sort of this amalgamous (I don't think that's a word) shape with these long arms and these tiny eyes and baring teeth that move around inside of its body.

ADAM: Is this a re-occurring figure in your hallucinations?

CORY: Yeah, one of the very few figures, actually. It never seems to be happy with me.

ADAM: What do you think it represents?

CORY: If I had to take a guess I think it represents my fear of ghosts and apparitions like that. Those things have always freaked me out, and according to a friend I have who's way more into the spiritual world than I am, I'm sensitive to that kind of thing.

ADAM: I've had some pretty intense supernatural encounters myself, which I mentioned to you before... So you would say that some of the ghostly sightings you've had would be unrelated to your hallucinations?

CORY: I don't think I'd say they were unrelated, I think the sightings I may have had at a younger age had an impact on me, for better or for worse.

ADAM: Well what I mean is that you don't disregard them as being created by your mind. The ghosts that you have seen are real entities that exist independently of your psyche.

CORY: Yeah, that's right. I had this sort of inward debate with myself for awhile when I was younger and didn't believe in anything paranormal, per se.

ADAM: Whats the deal with the ghost coming out of the chair at the bottom of the page?

CORY: That was actually this drawing I made some time ago, maybe 2 years ago, with my friend Justin, it's kind of a cool story.

ADAM: Let's hear it.

CORY: We were both hallucinating (we have similar conditions) and he drew a chair on this desk in high school, and I drew a ghost coming out of it with that screaming face.

ADAM: What made you include it on this page?

CORY: To be perfectly honest, I'm not all that sure. Maybe I thought it would be a cool addition? It could coincide with the other ghost. I can't remember my thought processes terribly well.

ADAM: What does that latin phrase mean and why did you decide to make that ghost speak it?

CORY: The phrase means 'thinking dead' in latin, and I referred to the masses, or 'the meek' as such, kind of my way of subtly stating the human condition as I saw it. I got that phrase as part of a tattoo on my right shoulder somewhat recently.